There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
