Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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