So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish my penis had a tongue
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
