They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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