i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
