Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
