In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
