ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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