It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize