It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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