is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
