It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
