wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize