I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did I show you my penis last night?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
