Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
