I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
