Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
