I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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