He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
