glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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