He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
