I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
