She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
