if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize