Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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