Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
