I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
