mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
