My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
