hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize