Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
