no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
