i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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