I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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