I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Randomize