I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
