So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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