So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
