I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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