Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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