My nipple is on Facebook.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im six kinds of drunk right now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
