M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
