We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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