no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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