Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
