matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
