found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
