If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
