Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
