Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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