You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
