Umm I'm too high to move.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
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