My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
