dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
