i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize