you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
