Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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