i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
