I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
babies were throwing up all over the place
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize