I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
