Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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