stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
