I'm going to jail i love you
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
